i want to talk a bit about love and what it means to me on this day for lovers. love, to me, is inherent to the structure of this universe. hell, even the multiverse potentially, but this universe for sure. i say this because we are able to exist here. the laws of physics arranged […]


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like all journeys in life, the path to becoming is never linear. bumps in the road can make me shrink to protect against their impact. but here, near the end of the decade, i am leaning into the largeness of myself. i am remembering that vulnerability and authenticity are also protective. # this decade began […]


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i am on a makeshift writer’s retreat at our out-of-town friends’ home in the mountains of glendale, california. last night, wind gusted against the house, kept me up half-wondering if someone was trying to break in. this afternoon, the rain stopped, and tonight, the wind has calmed down some, but it is still freezing. 50 […]


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Society—other people, systems, institutions, culture—has so much more power over our lives than the average person gives it credit for. Acknowledging its outsized influence is devastating at first, incompatible as it is with a vision of the individual as master of their own destiny, culpable in failure and deserving in success. But there is a […]


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everything from then on out was going through the motions. everything from going to work every day to saving for the future to breathing was a charade performed as defense against the inevitable a tired eye closed to the light of the oncoming train a battered heart numb to the cries of the victimized child […]


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[In the first installment of this series, I talked about my politics in general and how the connections between systems of oppression and my personal experience have become incredibly salient to me. Here I want to talk about how that awakening impacted my attitude towards my various disabilities and how I navigate the world with […]


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I don’t remember the first time I was raped, but I know it happened. I don’t recall when the memory was lost. I can’t answer #WhyIDidntReport. I do recall remembering exactly what happened, in re-traumatizingly clear detail, two years later: in the middle of an assembly at school on reporting sexual abuse. And then, I […]


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[CW: suicide, r*pe, internalized fatmisia] I come to this page with absolutely no idea how to say what I want to say. But I’m here, and I’m gonna try. First: let me stop assuming that everyone who comes across my work is familiar with my backstory. I’ve realized of late that I write as if […]


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Even before I stopped taking medication, I stopped going to therapy. I didn’t have a therapist through most of the withdrawal process; only at the very beginning did I seek out a psychologist because I thought it would be safe. But I just found myself arguing with her, as we had such different worldviews and […]


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