It’s a common belief that there’s someone out there just for you, and when you find him or her, you’ll find the person that makes you whole.

I held that belief my entire life, and I searched fruitlessly and desperately for years for someone who loved me as much as I loved them, who would fill that empty spot I felt so keenly in my gut that surely must need to be filled by my “soulmate.” And almost a decade ago, I thought I had found that person—my search was finally over and I could relax and enjoy the feeling of the emptiness being filled. I got married and we were happy, for a while. But as with so many relationships that we intend to last forever, it didn’t, and I was left to pick up the pieces and seriously re-evaluate my outlook on love and life. The mistake I had made was thinking that I needed someone else to “complete” me, when I really needed to be complete all on my own. I realized that if I was going to have a healthy relationship, I had to be comfortable with myself alone first.

[Read the rest at Clutch Magazine.]