Now

I’m tired of being happy for other people / I wanna be happy for myself

by | Oct 28, 2022

I’m tired of being happy for other people

I know that makes me selfish

Or maybe human

It’s not that I don’t want other folks to thrive / I do

I love seeing the joy in your faces

& celebrating your wins

& I want us all to get ours

Get what we have worked for so hard

Get free

But I want to be happy

I want to be seen

Recognized

Someone say I know how hard it is for you

Someone say What you are doing matters

And maybe that makes me selfish

Or human

To want this

To want more for myself

To want space to breathe & expand

The voice in my head say

You can’t want that because someone else don’t have it

When I wish for a shower with a soaking tub

Big enough to hold my chair

When I wish for a house with some land

Big enough that I can walk without bruising

For a bed that doesn’t fuck my back up

A chair I can sit in & write for hours

For friends big enough to hold me

& alla my contradictions

When I don’t want to be seen

But I want to be

Big enough to be witnessed

& maybe all that makes me selfish

& so I am

But I’m tired of being happy for other people

I wanna be happy for myself

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